I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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