dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
