My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
