So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
