dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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