how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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