with your own penis?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
