so that wasnt chicken after all
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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