Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you had me at cake vodka
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
