That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
being pregnant is like rehab
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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