Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
