either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
