It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
