So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
