just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
