Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
