Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
