What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I lost the right to judge tonight
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
