3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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