Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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