hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You should frame my arrest warrant.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
