I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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