Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
