At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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