I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You're like the curious george of whores
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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