you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize