My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
