Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
