god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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