You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The air was thick with penises
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
