And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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