i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
