he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
