My brain says no but my pants say off.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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