MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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