You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize