now i know why i became what i already was.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
