Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
