dude i'm inner monologue high
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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