found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
