i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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