yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
