my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
