I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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