Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize