How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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