All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There are leaves in my underwear?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
