the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize