I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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