Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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