North Korea, Best Korea!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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