weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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