Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
