So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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