There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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