You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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