Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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