pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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