So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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