Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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