I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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