I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
