How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize