i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
