I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
